Another year I was blessed to be on this Earth. If ya’ll only understood the emotional roller coaster I have been on this month leading to my birthday, I didn’t think I was going to make it. But I did and I am so thankful.
I feel like April snuck up on me out of nowhere. Usually I have a whole itinerary for my birthday, but this year I had to let it roll by like it was any other day. (once the day came and I finally accepted it) I had plans to do an inflateable obstacle course at first. But Kris work schedule sucks and I had a feeling some of my friends wouldn’t pay for it. But looking back, it was something I definitely have went through. Along with my birthday approaching, I was in the middle of quitting one job to start another, spring break, planning a field trip, and intense ass training for my new job. Birthday was starting to look real foggy when April hit.
I was stressing so much about work. In the middle of planning a field trip to UC Davis with our Girls’ Group, the end of the marking period was approaching. The time all of the students have one week to make up work they didn’t do ALL QUARTER. It’s so annoying. I wouldn’t think of birthday plans on my spare time, I’m thinking like “hmmm how am I going to advocate for Jimmy who hasn’t turned in any work all quarter to be able to turn in hella make up work and pass the marking period in 2 days?” Yup No birthday plans.
The training for the new job was very intense. It was seriously like taking an online class but 30 times worse. I had to work job one, go out into the field, get documents in, and do that training which took WAAAAY longer than they said it would. It was too much. But I did pass the test for which the training was for with a 93% so that made up for it but still…No turn up planned.
My friends and I (Marshae and Michaela love you gals !) were real life trying to come up with a master plan the day before my birthday. It was looking up for a second, and then I was like okay… I had planning last minute things alot! And I’m a planner, so when I do it, there has to be thought behind it….well in this case yes. Bonfire was the move but I needed time to do a bit more research since the Bay wants to ban bonfires and whatnot. Plus places have only a few pits. It would have definitely been a dual for a pit lol. I didn’t go party because … it just didn’t work out. So the night before my birthday I just watched the playoffs. Kris was with his family and he thought I would be out living it up. But nope, I was at home, eating a hotlink, and watching the playoffs. While he was having a blast with his fam. And when he called and told me, I got super homesick. Like I know I wouldn’t be doing anything special with my family because they work with crazy schedules. But just to be in their presence would have been everything! Dad not remembering how old I am, my mom real life trying to get birthday licks, my sister having an excuse to turn up, and my nephew making me laugh being a ninja singing happy birthday. That’s exactly what have would happened and I would have loved every second of it.
So my birthday came and I still had no plan aha. But all of the love felt good! The people that I normally talk to hit me on a text and call. I don’t know, something about getting birthday love that’s not just on Facebook. But of course I appreciated from all social media I am on. I woke up to a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a card, and a little box. (no it wasn’t a ring lol) But it was a delicate gold Africa Pendant Necklace. I almost died! I don’t own ANY real jewelry. So this was big ! It was Africa too! That man really gets me. It took him a while to give good gifts, but he has made major progress over the years. He cooked breakfast in bed with mimosas. I’m like okaaayyyyy starting to feel like a birthday now. But then again, Kris always does sweet things like that so it still felt like a regular day which was fine. We went to the flea market, mall so I could get my New York Apple Cheesecake, relaxed at the lake, and got Mexican food. Best Sunday ever! Just like any other Sunday. So you can say I enjoyed my birthday. It was the little things that counted. To top it off my my nephew sang his version of happy birthday to me and it was life! Told me he’s going to buy me flowers lol.
I was going through so much internally. 24 years old and feeling unfulfilled. I bury myself in work because I don’t have a social life. Having to maintain 2 jobs just to be able to live and squeeze in extra curricular activities. I know people be on that”fuck fun get money” “no new friends” but not I. I need to have my fun to keep me sane. You need friends to get you through tough times. That’s why doing something on my birthday was such a big deal. To prove to myself, you don’t need nobody, go have your fun, it’s your day, and you deserve it! But my emotions took over and put me in a major funk. I don’t have many friends, or everyone is busy, and have to pencil people in to see them. I hate it! But it’s life. So having that simple birthday and talking to my loved ones really was everything I needed. And it’s still not over because one of my girlfriends from home (Heyyy Frampton) is coming out here tomorrow and we are going to celebrate our birthdays together just like we used to growing up. I don’t feel as unfulfilled anymore. I am handling things the best way that I can and definitely making a difference while doing so. I started going to the gym and that is where a lot of my happiness has come from. And of course Kris is just kingin his way through life. I couldn’t ask for anything more.